AN AERIAL TOUR OF INDIANA
a radio bit
(Background, typical vacation, tour music, the sound of an airplane starting up and taking off)
Hi folks, what a treat! We will be soaring over Indiana to give you an aerial (laughs to himself) “overview” of Hoosier land.
Indiana…..land of history, geography,limestone, tree stumps…and not too many Indians. Here then we’ll have an aerial tour of the majesty that awaits you…the Indiana temporary visitor. Intrigued? (chuckles) thought so! Let’s start at the top of the state where the mighty Hoosier River leaves the snow capped Calumet Mountains, here the chilly reception gives way to icy roadways and melting suburbs. Now we see the stubborn Hoosier river plunging southward, chock full of tuna, salmon and (said quickly in a lower vice) old tires. Midway on it’s journey to the south, Indianapolis says, “Hey, hold on there big fella!” We see the Indianapolis Dam tapping power from mother nature. Yes, 1,200 acres of resentful gray waters are held in place, like a brother-in-law that still owes you 22 bucks, you aren’t quite ready to see him leave just yet. Now through 18 sluices the water spills away through (awkward pause) spill ways and makes lots of creeks and rivers for those picturesque and persistent covered brings that keep reproducing themselves around raw lumber country.
Let us now look at Industry and wildlife in the great state of Indiana, up north steel and bowling were king and the wildlife was all on the south side, but that was the old days. Now timber, brush and buzzards dot the landscape with corn, basketballs, quarries and a several frightened deer thrown in for good measure.
Hey mom, check out this vacation paradise for the kiddies! It’s Halloween Land! Zombies R us! Haw, haw. Lots of spooky fun for dad too…wait till he sees the bill!
Just south of Naptown is Bedtown. Here conservative Euclidean winds of little change carve beautiful blocks of stone. Big burly truck drivers with big bellies and burr haircuts who say bad words load these stones and take them to left wing liberal cities. See the soaring Umpire Snakes building! Wow, that is tall!
Way down here at the tip of the state we see damp low lands that tilt down to the edge of the Drinking Gourd River. A row of trees along the bank look towards the neighboring state of Kentucky, like tourists themselves, they seem to be puzzled because Kentucky looks like a northern state to them. Well…we’ll leave that for the philosophers in that Horse-filled state.
Here in Indiana we have a lot to be thankful for, beautiful woodlands, a diversity of farming, several kinds of chickens and volleyball teams……spelling bees, rumors and sunflowers, the wiry razor sharp wit of industrial prisons and don’t forget.…..those dog-gone great bacon farms! Yow-zur-we got it all in Hoosier land.
(sound of plane landing)
And here we are, safely back on solid ground. I know you will now want to make your next vacation destination right here in beautiful down town Indianaville!